Shyness and Romance
I asked a question on a website. It was a straightforward question. Here is the question.
'IF YOU MEET SOMEONE WHO IS SHY HOW DO YOU REACT? DO YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW THEM OR DO YOU MOVE ON? WHY?”
The answer has some good news and some bad news. Here comes the good news.
I want to get to know them. I want to find out why they are shy. I want to follow my heart and do what I feel is right. If it were the other way I would want someone to get to know me.
I would be myself. Shy people are willing to listen and get to know you first.
I would keep trying to get to know them.
I like shy people. They simply lack self confidence and there is no shame in that. Shy people are interesting to talk to once they become comfortable with you. You will find a really amazing person underneath the shyness.
Shy is kind of nice. Refreshing. I would try to get a shy person to relax and let them see the human side of me. I like to get to know them better and see what makes them tick. Shy people can be a blast once once they get relaxed and get to now you. I prefer shy people to over confident and cocky. They are worth the wait.
If I am really interested in this person I will give them time to open up. I will set a certain amount of time of time for them to open up.
People say a lot of things about shy people. Some comments are nice, some are nasty, but most don't even bother to connect..
Whenever I meet someone who is shy...I try to feel his mood. If I sensed that he wants to be alone, I just leave him at his peace. But if he's alright with my friendly gesture, and or if fate got our paths crossed the next time around, I approach the person, introduce myself and try a compliment or say something nice about him that i notice. Maybe crack a joke just to break the ice!
Even the most shy person you know could have a very interesting personality just hiding behind that timid self. Maybe he just needs some time to loosen up a bit. It's not cool to judge a person just because he's not outgoing or very vocal about himself. Being misunderstood just because..isn't cool at all. Get to know him..because if you just let yourself "move on" without knowing him, you'll be spending the next 10 years of your life wondering about the "what IF's" of your social life.
So what do you think of these answers? Are your surprised or did you know this all along? Did you know that people find shy people sexy and attractive? Has this boosted your confidence?
I think this information is extremely valuable. It means don't give up finding true love, companionship, friendship. It means give people a chance to get to know you. It means go easy on yourself.
No comes the bad news.
Move on, it's too difficult to bring people out of their shells.
Normally it would not matter. But as time passes I learned that I'd rather move on. Unless I'm really wanting it to work. I would give it a try. But if it becomes too frustrating and tiring for me then I would move on especially if it is too difficult to bring them out of their shell. If they can not communicate their emotions well I can not read their minds. It is too hard.
This is a difficult one for me because, I am also very shy myself. So, if I were to meet someone else who is just as shy, there wouldn't be a whole lot of talking going on.
In my experience, shy people tend to attract opposite personalities (just as well for us!).
I'll try to initiate the conversation by talking about something ...but if after a time I do not get a response then i guess I'll move on ....especially if that person is the opposite sex..
Move on if they can't communicate their emotions well and I can't be a mind reader. Too hard and too much work with so many people out there.
I'll try to initiate the conversation. If after sometime there is still no response then i guess I'll move on ....especially if that person is the opposite sex.
This is not actually serious. What it does say is that people do not want to work to get to know other people. They would prefer it to be a give and take. They are willing to give it a shot but they expect a reaction.
They also want to know where they stand with you. They need feedback . They are willing to be patient but they will need TLC back in a fairly short time period. So if you know someone like this and you like them don't dawdle. If you do they could be gone. Just make the attempt. They will appreciate that.
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Marcia, Your Confidence Coach
PS Let me know what you want to hear about. Tell me about your romance issues.
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