Are You Naughty

I try to present you with new material about shyness. But if you are like me you read it and think maybe I will do that. And you do it for a couple of days and nothing happens so you drop it. Or you do it for a couple of days and you say, "This is dumb." and you drop it. Or (and this is naughty) you read it and never do anything.

Why does this happen?

Naughty

If you are naughty and read these posts and do nothing - Somewhere there is a disconnect between what you read and what you believe of yourself. Where does this disconnect come from? Somewhere way back you learned to judge yourself as not being able to do this.

Somewhere way back you learned to limit what you can accomplish. Join the club. Now exit the club. Dig deep into your mind and think about why you have these judgements.

If the word judgements bothers you make it softer with the word opinions. If the word judgements bothers you then you are connecting with your past. Try to uncover what is below that annoyance. Annoyance is a smoke screen. Be smart and don't let your smokescreen get in your way. If you are lost in the smokescreen drop it for now and come back to it later. But come back to it. Don't be naughty.

Maybe I will do it

That sounds good. You might do it. But if you don't do it then go back to reading about naughty (again)

I did it for a couple of days

That is a start. You are trying. But you think not much is happening. I did not state "not much is happening." I stated "YOU THINK" not much is happening. Here comes the smoke screen again.

Have you noticed that the smoke screen comes up a lot? It is a barrier, a diversion your mind creates. When things get tough or they don't work out (quickly) your smoke screen comes up. The truth is that while you are doing this new thing things are happening. You are changing your mind set.

You maybe even changing your neural physiology. There are theories that a repeated thought will be imprinted in your brain. A slight trigger will set this imprinted thought in motion. Viola you feel shy. It is your job to keep going and work on to blocking this neural trigger. Once you work on that you create a new neural trigger that says "I don't feel shy now."

If you are still saying this is nonsense then try it for a month. I know that sounds like a long time. My mom used to tell me Rome wasn't built in a day. Dumb but true. And that message created a neural path way in my brain. I want immediate results but I don't expect immediate results. I do however, expect results .

Today is Friday. Cut yourself some slack and start this Saturday when you have some time to be with yourself. Be kind to yourself but also respect yourself. Expect that you can follow through for one month and change your neural triggers.

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Feel free to comment. I never moderate my comments so whatever you write is posted. Tell me what is on your mind. I'd love to hear from you.

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach