Make Believe

Make believe

The art of acting intrigues me. Some actors claim that they use their past emotions to give a performance. Other actors make a study of the person they are portraying.

I like the study method. I am a natural observer. I love to watch people and see what makes them tick. I love to study their way of looking at things and expressing themselves. This is how I learn how to be a better communicator.

If you are shy then communicating is a challenge for you. So how can you become a better communicator? How about with pretend and make believe?

For one week pick someone that is outgoing and expresses themselves in a way you admire. Make a detailed study of them. Observe how they handle themselves in all types of contact. How do they behave when they are stressed, happy, assertive, pensive? Just watch them. Take written or mental notes.

Review your notes and observations. Then pretend that you are an actor and this is the person you are going to portray. For all of those who are now protesting that this is not you, you are right. This is not you. I am not asking you to become someone else. I am asking you to see what it feels like to be someone else. I am asking you to practice and pretend being someone else. Just as if you were an actor. Just like you did when you were little and played a game of make believe.

The next step is to practice this when you are alone. Pretend that you are this other person. What mannerisms do they have? What is the tone of their voice? What is it they do that impresses you?

Why am I asking you to do this? I know it may sound a little off the wall. So what? Just try it. Here is why I am presenting you with this game. By watching someone you admire you will see that you are not that different from that person. You will also learn techniques to bring this sameness out in you. You will also learn how other people react when they feel the way you do. You will see how other people express and converse when they feel like you do.

This exposure will give you some new ways to interact with people. This exposure will give you a way to look at your shyness in a practical manner. It is also a fun, lighter way to view your shyness. Try it. You can do it in secret. No one will know you are doing it. Just pretend that you are an actor boning up on a part you may play in your own life.

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach