Monday, March 26, 2007

Make Believe




Make believe

The art of acting intrigues me. Some actors claim that they use their past emotions to give a performance. Other actors make a study of the person they are portraying.


I like the study method. I am a natural observer. I love to watch people and see what makes them tick. I love to study their way of looking at things and expressing themselves. This is how I learn how to be a better communicator.


If you are shy then communicating is a challenge for you. So how can you become a better communicator? How about with pretend and make believe?

For one week pick someone that is outgoing and expresses themselves in a way you admire. Make a detailed study of them. Observe how they handle themselves in all types of contact. How do they behave when they are stressed, happy, assertive, pensive? Just watch them. Take written or mental notes.


Review your notes and observations. Then pretend that you are an actor and this is the person you are going to portray. For all of those who are now protesting that this is not you, you are right. This is not you. I am not asking you to become someone else. I am asking you to see what it feels like to be someone else. I am asking you to practice and pretend being someone else. Just as if you were an actor. Just like you did when you were little and played a game of make believe.


The next step is to practice this when you are alone. Pretend that you are this other person. What mannerisms do they have? What is the tone of their voice? What is it they do that impresses you?


Why am I asking you to do this? I know it may sound a little off the wall. So what? Just try it. Here is why I am presenting you with this game. By watching someone you admire you will see that you are not that different from that person. You will also learn techniques to bring this sameness out in you. You will also learn how other people react when they feel the way you do. You will see how other people express and converse when they feel like you do.


This exposure will give you some new ways to interact with people. This exposure will give you a way to look at your shyness in a practical manner. It is also a fun, lighter way to view your shyness. Try it. You can do it in secret. No one will know you are doing it. Just pretend that you are an actor boning up on a part you may play in your own life.


Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

Friday, March 23, 2007

Are You Naughty


I try to present you with new material about shyness. But if you are like me you read it and think maybe I will do that. And you do it for a couple of days and nothing happens so you drop it. Or you do it for a couple of days and you say, "This is dumb." and you drop it. Or (and this is naughty) you read it and never do anything.


Why does this happen?


Naughty

If you are naughty and read these posts and do nothing - Somewhere there is a disconnect between what you read and what you believe of yourself. Where does this disconnect come from? Somewhere way back you learned to judge yourself as not being able to do this.


Somewhere way back you learned to limit what you can accomplish. Join the club. Now exit the club. Dig deep into your mind and think about why you have these judgements.


If the word judgements bothers you make it softer with the word opinions. If the word judgements bothers you then you are connecting with your past. Try to uncover what is below that annoyance. Annoyance is a smoke screen. Be smart and don't let your smokescreen get in your way. If you are lost in the smokescreen drop it for now and come back to it later. But come back to it. Don't be naughty.


Maybe I will do it

That sounds good. You might do it. But if you don't do it then go back to reading about naughty (again)


I did it for a couple of days

That is a start. You are trying. But you think not much is happening. I did not state "not much is happening." I stated "YOU THINK" not much is happening. Here comes the smoke screen again.


Have you noticed that the smoke screen comes up a lot? It is a barrier, a diversion your mind creates. When things get tough or they don't work out (quickly) your smoke screen comes up. The truth is that while you are doing this new thing things are happening. You are changing your mind set.


You maybe even changing your neural physiology. There are theories that a repeated thought will be imprinted in your brain. A slight trigger will set this imprinted thought in motion. Viola you feel shy. It is your job to keep going and work on to blocking this neural trigger. Once you work on that you create a new neural trigger that says "I don't feel shy now."


If you are still saying this is nonsense then try it for a month. I know that sounds like a long time. My mom used to tell me Rome wasn't built in a day. Dumb but true. And that message created a neural path way in my brain. I want immediate results but I don't expect immediate results. I do however, expect results .


Today is Friday. Cut yourself some slack and start this Saturday when you have some time to be with yourself. Be kind to yourself but also respect yourself. Expect that you can follow through for one month and change your neural triggers.


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Feel free to comment. I never moderate my comments so whatever you write is posted. Tell me what is on your mind. I'd love to hear from you.


Marcia, Your Confidence Coach



Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Everything You Wanted to Know About Self Esteem but were Afraid to Ask




There is all this talk about "self esteem." What does it mean and how does it relate to you? This is a long but highly informative article on everything you need to know about self esteem. It was written by Nathaniel Branden a renowned expert.


It is believed there is a connection between shyness and self esteem. See for yourself.



Answering Misconceptions About Self-Esteem

by Dr. Nathaniel Branden


1. Does Self-esteem mean feeling good about yourself? Self-esteem is an experience. It is a particular way of experiencing the self. It is a good deal more than a mere feeling. It involves emotional, evaluative, and cognitive components. It also entails certain action dispositions: to move toward life rather than away from it; to move toward consciousness rather than away from it; to treat facts with respect rather than denial; to operate self-responsibly rather than the opposite. Self-esteem is the disposition to experience oneself as being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. It is confidence in the efficacy of our mind, in our ability to think. By extension, it is confidence in our ability to learn, to make appropriate choices and decisions, and respond effectively to change. It is also the experience that success, achievement, fulfillment, happiness, are right and natural for us. Self-esteem is not the euphoria of buoyancy that may be temporarily induced by a drug, a compliment, or a love affair. It is not an illusion or hallucination. Lots of things (some of them quite dubious) can make us "feel good" - for a while. If self-esteem is not grounded in reality, if it is not built over time through the appropriate operation of mind, for example, through operating consciously, self-responsibly, and with integrity - it is not self-esteem.


2. Doesn't a teacher's preoccupation with nurturing a student's self-esteem get in the way of academic achievement? That depends on the teacher's understanding of self-esteem and what is required to nurture it. If a teacher treats students with respect, avoids ridicule and other belittling remarks, deals with everyone fairly and justly, and projects a strong, benevolent conviction about every student's potential, then that teacher is supporting both self-esteem and the process of learning and mastering the challenges. For such a teacher, self-esteem is tied to reality, not to faking reality. In contrast, however, if a teacher tries to nurture self-esteem by empty praise that bears no relationship to the students' actual accomplishments-dropping all objective standards-allowing young people to believe that the only passport to self-esteem they need is the recognition that they are "unique" - then self-esteem is undermined and so is academic achievement. We help people to grow by holding rational expectations up to them, not by expecting nothing of them; the latter is a message of contempt. Research indicates that there is a significant relationship between self-esteem and academic achievement, and that if we can raise a student's self esteem, academic improvement tends to follow.


3. Can anyone develop high self-esteem or is it the prerogative of a fortunate minority? People of average intelligence or better, can, in principle, grow into psychologically healthy adults. Obviously parents, teachers, and other adults can do a great deal to make the road to self-esteem easier or harder. Sometimes, where there are deep psychic wounds and traumas left unresolved since childhood, a decent level of self-esteem can be very difficult to achieve. In such cases, psychotherapy may be necessary. But I have never met anyone utterly devoid of self-esteem and I have never met anyone unable to grow in self-esteem, assuming appropriate opportunities for learning exist in their worldspace.


4. Doesn't a focus on self-esteem encourage excessive and inappropriate self-absorption? Rationally, one does not focus on self-esteem per se; one focuses on the practices that support and nurture self-esteem-such as the practice of living consciously, of self-acceptance, of self-responsibility, of self-assertiveness, of purposefulness, and of integrity, as I discuss in the Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. Self-esteem demands a high reality-orientation; it is grounded in a reverent respect for facts and truth. Excessive and inappropriate self-absorption is symptomatic of poor self-esteem, not high self-esteem. If there is something we are confident about, we do not obsess about it-we get on with living.


5. Can't one have too much self-esteem? No, not if one is talking about reality-based self-esteem rather than grandiosity. It is no more possible to have too much self-esteem than it is to have too much physical or mental health. But sometimes when people lack adequate self-esteem they fall into arrogance, boasting, and grandiosity as a defense mechanism-a compensatory strategy. Their problem is not that they have too big an ego but they have too small a one. Further, let me say that high self-esteem is not egotism, as some people mistakenly imagine. Egotism is an attitude of bragging, boasting, arrogating to oneself qualities one does not possess, throwing one's weight around, seeking to prove one's superiority to others-all evidences of insecurity and underdeveloped self-esteem


6. Isn't self-esteem essentially a godless pursuit? Is watching one's diet and eating intelligently a "godless pursuit?" Is exercising? Is striving to learn and grow? Is the pursuit of self-development and self-realization "godless?" Why would one think in such terms? With regard to self-esteem, I do not see "God" as relevant, one way or the other-unless you believe in a malevolent God who wishes human beings to face the challenges of life in a state of terror and paralysis. The plain truth is, some people with good self-esteem believe in God and others with good self-esteem do not.


7. Isn't self-esteem determined by parental upbringing? How some parents wish it were! But the truth is, many factors influence our self-esteem. Certainly parental upbringing is important; parents can make the road to self-esteem easier or harder-but they cannot determine the ultimate level of their child's self-esteem. Neither can teachers or other adults. Neither can biology--nor birth experiences. Yet all these factors can play a role. And among these factors, none is likely to be as important as the influence of parents, primarily through the values they instill, which can lead a child toward or away from growing self-esteem. However, we must remember the role that each individual plays, through the choices and decisions we make every day. We are not merely clay on which external forces write. We are active contestants in the drama. As adults we carry primary responsibility for the level of self-esteem we develop.


8. Isn't self-esteem the consequence of approval from "significant others?" No. If we live semi-consciously, non-responsibly, and without integrity, it will not matter who loves us -we will not love ourselves. When people betray their mind and judgment ("sell their souls") to win the approval of their "significant others," they may win that approval, but their self-esteem suffers. What shall it profit us to win the approval of the whole world and lose our own? It is commonly held that among young people the approval of "significant others" does profoundly affect self-esteem, and to some extent this is doubtless true--but one has to wonder about the reality of a self-esteem that is so precarious that it crashes easily if that approval is withdrawn.


9. Doesn't the possession of good looks, popularity, and wealth almost guarantee self-esteem? People who lack self-esteem sometimes think so, but the truth is that in today's world there are celebrities who have physical beauty, millions of adoring fans, and millions of dollars--and still they cannot get through a day without drugs. They live with severe anxiety or depression or both. Good looks, popularity, and wealth guarantee nothing--if one does not have the self-esteem to support them. Lacking such self-esteem, it is very easy to feel like an impostor, waiting to be "found out"-and waiting for all one's advantages to be blown away. Even among young people where the assets mentioned above tend to be more important, the relation of these assets to self-esteem is fragile at best; long-term, they are far from an adequate foundation for the experience of competence and worth.


10. Does praising appropriate behavior nurture self-esteem? That depends on what is meant by "praising" If we see a child acting consciously and responsibly, and we acknowledge this behavior with recognition and appreciation, we may increase the likelihood that such behavior will be repeated. If we ridicule, punish, or ignore it, we may produce the opposite result. Either way, we may indirectly influence the child's self-esteem (although not necessarily). But to be effective, praise - or more exactly, recognition-should be reality-based, calibrated to the significance of the child's actions (in other words, not extravagant or grandiose), and directed at the child's behavior rather than his or her character. Sweeping statements such as "You're a perfect angel," or "You're always such a good girl," or "You're always so kind and loving," are not helpful; rather than nurture self-esteem, they tend to evoke anxiety, since the child knows there are times when they are not true. Even with these restrictions, praise or recognition needs to be administered cautiously, so as to avoid turning a child into an approval-addict. We want a child to experience the intrinsic pleasure that flows from appropriate behavior. We want the child to become the source of his or her own approval, nor always waiting eagerly for ours. So we need to avoid bombarding a child with our "evaluations."


11. Isn't it true that if you have high self-esteem, nothing bothers you? Some enthusiasts for self-esteem believe good self-esteem solves nearly all the important problems of life. This is untrue. Struggle is intrinsic to life. Sooner or later everyone experiences anxiety and pain-and while self-esteem can make one less susceptible, it cannot make one impervious. To offer a simple example: If someone you love dies, does having good self-esteem mean the loss won't bother you? Clearly not. Think of self-esteem as the immune system of consciousness. If you have a healthy immune system, you might become ill, but you are less likely to; if you do become ill, you will likely recover faster--your resilience is greater. Similarly, if you have high self-esteem, you might still know times of emotional suffering, but less often and with a faster recovery--your resilience is greater. A well-developed sense of self is a necessary but not a sufficient condition of your well-being. Its presence does not guarantee fulfillment, but its absence guarantees some measure of anxiety, frustration and despair. Some people, when they face new challenges initially perceived as intimidating or overwhelming, may suffer a temporary dip in the level of their self-esteem. Then, as they persevere and master the new challenges, self-esteem rises again. Such fluctuations are normal.


12. Once you've attained self-esteem, is it automatically maintained forever? Every value pertaining to life requires action to maintain it. If we do not continue to breathe, the breathing we did yesterday will not keep us alive today. The same principle applies to self-esteem and the practices that support it. If--through the six practices mentioned above--we have succeeded in building good self-esteem, this does not mean that we now drop those practices without harm to ourselves. If we do not choose to sustain these practices--if we elect to operate mindlessly, irresponsibly, without integrity--there is no way for self-esteem to avoid being adversely affected. Neither a business, nor a marriage, nor a soul can be kept alive and healthy without continuous effort. Responsibility for appropriate action never ends.


P.O. 2609Beverly Hills CA 90213 Phone: 310-274-6361 FAX: 310-271-6808E-Mail: NathanielBranden@compuserve.comWeb site: www.nathanielbranden.net


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Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Are you a Jumper or a Dangler?


Supposes you were not shy. What would you do? What would your life be like? Is this something you think about?


Suppose you were not shy. What would you be concerned with? Would there be another "fly in the ointment" in your life?


Is it possible that your shyness is a distraction? If your shyness diverting you from a bigger issue you fear? Is you shyness protecting you from something you fear doing?


I love swimming. In order to swim you have to get into the pool. Some people jump in. Others dangle their feet and slowly get adjusted to the water. The problem with dangling your feet is you may not go in the pool. If you jump you are in the pool.


So which one are you? Are you the foot dangler or the jumper. Most likely if you are shy you are the foot dangler. Can you become the jumper? Is your shyness preventing you from being the jumper even if it is just once and a while?


Try to be a jumper and join my newsletter www.notshynow.com


Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

Friday, March 16, 2007

Challenge Your Thoughts



I have found something that will probably annoy, baffle and amaze you. It is called "Thought Awareness". That does not sound like fun. But it is something valuable for you to do to understand your shyness.


A lot of people believe they are shy because of childhood messages. A parent told you to "shut up." A sibling taunted you. Classmates rejected you or teased you. This information may be consoling to you but how is it helping you overcome your shyness. Now that you understand that someones thoughtless behavior was hurtful and harmful to you how do you rectify that? Perhaps by using Thought Awareness.


Here is the definition and ground work for Thought Awareness. Thought Awareness is a process. In this process you observe your thoughts for a period of time. You might say for the next 10 minutes I will be in Thought Awareness and observe my thoughts. Do not suppress any thoughts. Just notice what thoughts are going through your head.


Be on the look out for negative thoughts. These negative thoughts may come and go. They may sneak up. Here are some example of negative thoughts that may appear:


  • I should not have said that (dwelling on consequences of performance)
  • I wonder if I looked stupid (self criticism)
  • I wonder if this chest pounding is a sign of disease (Preoccupation with symptoms of stress)
  • I know I will not get a promotion at work (feelings of inadequacy)
Write down the thought. Then let the rest of your thoughts continue to flow. Write down the next negative thought. Do this for 10 minutes.


The next day set aside some time to review these thoughts. Be honest with yourself and see if these thoughts are based in fact. Are they reasonable, rational? Are they possible but not probable. Can you challenge these thoughts. Take a good look at these thoughts. How do they relate to you feeling shy? Are you a person that has many irrational thoughts? I think you will find that you may be involved with these negative (irrational thoughts). Now that you have this knowledge start to talk to yourself in a more rational, realistic way.


You can accelerate this process when you order this product - Subconscious Programming for Maximum Results.

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Start on you Thought Awareness. Get to know yourself. Take a look at the thoughts that run you. Take a look at the thoughts that come up when you feel shy. Write them down. Challenge them. The discover that you can remove them.

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Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Too Shy for Marriage



I have a friend, Megan, that I have known since childhood. When Megan was in her 20's she was in love with Jake. Megan and Jake were dating for 5 years. They were both in love. They met and took it slow. They got to know each other. They both had careers. Jake was in advertising so he spent long hours at work. Megan was in retail and she to spent long hours at work. They had to make time to see each other because of their jobs. They had a pretty stable relationship. They had few arguments and fairly similar values. In other words they were compatible and in love.


Megan and I were different people. I was always outgoing and a big mouth. I was never considered shy. Megan was quieter and more withdrawn. I never thought of her as shy when we were growing up. Looking back I suppose she was shy. Not painfully shy but shy nevertheless.


Megan adapted to her shyness. She hid her shyness. She did not speak up in school. She got by. She had a circle of friends mainly because she was not a threat to anyone. Megan would never stab you in the back. Megan would never gossip about you. Megan would never start rumors about you. Megan never demanded things from you. Megan was easy going and easy to be with.
Megan and I got along famously. I enjoyed her company and we had a good time together. Megan felt comfortable with me so I did not notice she was shy.


We only had one problem. We had a friend in common that lived in our apartment building. This friend, Cindy would invite Megan and myself over to play. We were about 11 years old. Cindy was one of those kids that liked to boss other kids around and create trouble. Cindy was a mean kid. She was manipulative and sneaky.


When Cindy, Megan and I got together for playing Cindy would exclude me. She would play with Megan and leave me out. Megan went along with this because she was flattered by Cindy's attention. I did not appreciate this type of treatment and stopped accepting Cindy's invites to her house. Megan continued to be friends with Cindy. I did not understand why Megan aligned with Cindy and I did not think about it much. What I did not know was that Megan was shy and she could be easily dominated by Cindy. Megan could not stand up for herself. I had no interest in dominating Megan. I just enjoyed her friendship.


Fast forward to Megan and Jake. The relationship reached a point where Megan knew Jake was the one. She wanted to get married. She did not bring this up with Jake because she was shy. She also was afraid to scare Jake with the “M” word. But she longed for marriage with Jake. They both loved each other. Jake told Megan many times he loved her. Jake never mentioned marriage. Megan was nervous and agitated over this. This was on her mind. She started to feel insecure. She wanted to talk to Jake about this but she could not. She was waiting for Jake to mention it. He did not.


She spoke to me about it. I was puzzled. I asked Megan why she did not mention this to Jake. All she said was she can't. I still did not know she was shy. She never said she was too shy to discuss it. All she said was why doesn't Jake care enough to talk about it. I had no answer to that. My only answer was that Megan should bring it up. Megan's only answer was she could not bring it up.


I told Megan what I do with things like this that come up in my life. I told her how she was at an impasse. She had drawn a line. I told her to cross that line. That is what I do when things come up. Megan said she could not cross that line. I could never understand why she could not cross that line.


That was 20 years ago. Megan and Jake parted company a few months after we talked about the “line” concept. Jake met someone else and they were married 3 months later. Jake moved away. Megan mourned her lost love for Jake. Megan became depressed. Megan never got over Jake.


The tragedy here was that Jake was waiting for Megan to mention marriage and Megan was waiting for Jake to mention marriage. Neither did and so they parted. Jake wanted to get married also. He was too shy to bring it up. He met someone that was not too shy to bring up marriage and so he married. Megan never got married. Megan lost her one true love.
What are you missing out on because your shyness inhibits you? This is sad story but it is a true story.


Could this be you? Don't miss out on the good things in your life because you are shy. Don't let your shyness impede your enjoyment of your life. Take care of your life. Take care of yourself. You can transform your life. You can cross that “line.”



Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

Friday, March 9, 2007

Inspiring Thoughts



Today I share with you other people's words. I believe they speak about the struggle you are having with your shyness. These quotes are truthful and inspiring. Take a look at them and see how they speak to you. Do they motivate you? Perhaps they will put you on a new path. Perhaps they will offer you an opening to make the change you wish.


Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Helen Keller

With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity. Keshavan Nair

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. Anne Dillard

The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. Charles Dubois

The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn. Gloria Steinem

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers. M Scott Peck

www.notshynow.com - My free newsletter for those who want to take back their lives.

Marcia, Your Confidence Coach

Thursday, March 8, 2007

The Opposite Sex




Shyness and Romance
I asked a question on a website. It was a straightforward question. Here is the question.


'IF YOU MEET SOMEONE WHO IS SHY HOW DO YOU REACT? DO YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW THEM OR DO YOU MOVE ON? WHY?”

The answer has some good news and some bad news. Here comes the good news.

  • I want to get to know them. I want to find out why they are shy. I want to follow my heart and do what I feel is right. If it were the other way I would want someone to get to know me.

  • I would be myself. Shy people are willing to listen and get to know you first.

  • I would keep trying to get to know them.

  • I like shy people. They simply lack self confidence and there is no shame in that. Shy people are interesting to talk to once they become comfortable with you. You will find a really amazing person underneath the shyness.

  • Shy is kind of nice. Refreshing. I would try to get a shy person to relax and let them see the human side of me. I like to get to know them better and see what makes them tick. Shy people can be a blast once once they get relaxed and get to now you. I prefer shy people to over confident and cocky. They are worth the wait.

  • If I am really interested in this person I will give them time to open up. I will set a certain amount of time of time for them to open up.

  • People say a lot of things about shy people. Some comments are nice, some are nasty, but most don't even bother to connect..

  • Whenever I meet someone who is shy...I try to feel his mood. If I sensed that he wants to be alone, I just leave him at his peace. But if he's alright with my friendly gesture, and or if fate got our paths crossed the next time around, I approach the person, introduce myself and try a compliment or say something nice about him that i notice. Maybe crack a joke just to break the ice!

  • Even the most shy person you know could have a very interesting personality just hiding behind that timid self. Maybe he just needs some time to loosen up a bit. It's not cool to judge a person just because he's not outgoing or very vocal about himself. Being misunderstood just because..isn't cool at all. Get to know him..because if you just let yourself "move on" without knowing him, you'll be spending the next 10 years of your life wondering about the "what IF's" of your social life.

  • So what do you think of these answers? Are your surprised or did you know this all along? Did you know that people find shy people sexy and attractive? Has this boosted your confidence?


I think this information is extremely valuable. It means don't give up finding true love, companionship, friendship. It means give people a chance to get to know you. It means go easy on yourself.


No comes the bad news.


  • Move on, it's too difficult to bring people out of their shells.

  • Normally it would not matter. But as time passes I learned that I'd rather move on. Unless I'm really wanting it to work. I would give it a try. But if it becomes too frustrating and tiring for me then I would move on especially if it is too difficult to bring them out of their shell. If they can not communicate their emotions well I can not read their minds. It is too hard.

  • This is a difficult one for me because, I am also very shy myself. So, if I were to meet someone else who is just as shy, there wouldn't be a whole lot of talking going on.

  • In my experience, shy people tend to attract opposite personalities (just as well for us!).
    I'll try to initiate the conversation by talking about something ...but if after a time I do not get a response then i guess I'll move on ....especially if that person is the opposite sex..
    Move on if they can't communicate their emotions well and I can't be a mind reader. Too hard and too much work with so many people out there.

  • I'll try to initiate the conversation. If after sometime there is still no response then i guess I'll move on ....especially if that person is the opposite sex.

This is not actually serious. What it does say is that people do not want to work to get to know other people. They would prefer it to be a give and take. They are willing to give it a shot but they expect a reaction.

They also want to know where they stand with you. They need feedback . They are willing to be patient but they will need TLC back in a fairly short time period. So if you know someone like this and you like them don't dawdle. If you do they could be gone. Just make the attempt. They will appreciate that.


If you need more help join my free newsletter.


http://www.notshynow.com/


Marcia, Your Confidence Coach


PS Let me know what you want to hear about. Tell me about your romance issues.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

My Name is Luna



Today I want to tell you about Luna. Luna is a shy person. She has a lot of difficulty meeting new people. She has extreme difficulty telling people her name, Luna. It is not a common name. It is an unusual name. Just saying, “My name is Luna.” is a major stresser for Luna. She does not want to draw attention to herself. Introducing herself draws attention to herself. Her name is a conversation piece. When she tells people her name (which she rarely does because it stresses her out) people usually comment on it. More attention drawn to her. More anxiety. More shyness. More wanting to withdraw. More wanting to escape. More wanting to go back to safety. This was Luna in 2006.


Now it is 2007 and Luna is still named Luna. Only now in 2007 Luna can introduce herself and feel okay about doing that. What changed between 2006 and 2007 for Luna? A lot..

Sometime in 2006 Luna got fed up. She was tired of feeling nervous, worried, agitated, stressed, frightened, apprehensive, edgy, flustered, upset, uptight, on edge, troubled, uneasy, bothered, and hyper sensitive. Luna was 20 years old and she freaked out when she said her name. It was time for her to get a handle on this once and for all. It was time for Luna to have a life. It was time for Luna to feel better.


Luna decided to seek help. She went to a psychologist. Luna did not know why she felt shy. Luna analyzed her background. There were things in her upbringing that she felt had something to do with her feeling shy. Luna felt a psychologist could help her with these issues. After a couple of sessions with her psychologist Luna discovered something. Luna was pretty surprised at this discovery. Luna found out she was depressed. That was a strange discovery. Luna thought she was shy. She did not feel depressed. Luna's psychologist explained that


“Although no one knows why, a great number of depressions are also accompanied by anxiety. In one study, 85 per cent with major depression were also diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. Because they go hand and hand, anxiety and depression are considered fraternal twins of mod disorder.”


This was an eye opener for Luna. At last Luna had an answer to what was really going on inside of her. At last Luna could get help and move on.
It is important understand exactly what is going on with you. It is important to get the whole picture.


Can you be experiencing depression? Can you be misled by how you feel? If you think depression may be part of your shyness then please check out this product. Do something good for yourself today.



Marcia, Your Confidence Coach



PS Love to hear from you.

Monday, March 5, 2007

Fear is a Joy Killer


Is fear your constant companion? Is fear running your life? Is fear controlling your life? What are you afraid of?

Fear is a powerful emotion. Fear can be crippling. Fear can interfere with your life. Fear can take over your thoughts. Fear is in a innate response but... it can also be a learned response. That means you can teach yourself not to be afraid. YOU CAN UNLEARN YOUR FEAR.

Become your own teacher. Teach yourself how to overcome your fear. I have the course for you. Use my course and overcome your fear. Do this in the privacy of your home. Study hard and succeed.

www.notshynow.com
See you at your graduation.

Marcia, your Confidence Coach

Friday, March 2, 2007

Week End Fun


It is Friday. A lot of people rejoice over the fact it is Friday. The weekend is coming. A lot of people have exciting week end plans.


Week end plans - attend concert, hang out with significant other, hang out with the girls, hang out with the boys, short road trip with friends, dinner/lunch with friends, attend special meeting, drama group, blind date, parties, movie date, nieghborhood activity, run errands, see an exibit, religious services, religious social activities, see a play, sporting event, shopping, hiking, ETC.


The list could go on and on. If you feel shy perhaps you want to do some of these things. Yet you will not be able to do some of these things because you feel to shy too participate. If you feel shy perhaps you have convinvced yourself that you are not even interested in doing any of these things.


Take back your life. Start doing things. Sign up for my free newsletter and learn how.




Marcia, your Confidence Coach