Shyness and loneliness. You do not have to by shy to feel lonely. However, most people that are lonely frequently are also shy.
If you are shy it will be a struggle for you to connect with someone. That someone can be a friend or a lover.
The other day I got an e mail from a man 40 something. He stated he had traditional values. He was also shy. He also stated that he is a nice guy with a lot of nice, good traits. He wanted to know if he would ever find someone special if he was unable to approach anyone.
My reply was that it was not likely. I explained that a shy man with traditional values who wants a woman who can appreciate those values would have a hard time connecting. Why? Women that like men with traditional values usually want a man that is strong, the take charge type and make the first move type. This shy man was not able to do that at the present. I also told him that his nice traits would not be noticed if he was too shy to put himself out there.
I felt my answer was straightforward because I did not want to mislead him. I wanted him to see where he was at and decide if love beat out being shy. I wanted him to see if his desire to meet someone would motivate him to deal with his shyness.
If that was not the case he can end up lonely and alone.
I was also curious to see what other people said about his situation. The answers were all similar to mine. He did not have a good chance of meeting anyone if he was going to remain shy.
So for him and many others shyness and loneliness will go hand and hand. Of course it does not have to be like that. You and he can choose to finally confront your shyness. You can do something about your shyness.
Marcia, Your Confidence Coach
1 comment:
I agree. If you want to overcome your shyness you must really get out there. You must join church groups, clubs, organizations, everything you can find time for. The advantages will be twofold: 1) you will have a greater chance to meet that special someone and 2) you will get a lot of practice in socializing.
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