
The other day my friend, Julie came over. She brought her little girl with her. Julie's daughter, Tamara, is 3 years old. I had not seen Tamara in quite some time.
I said hi to Tamara and she hid behind her mom. Tamara is shy. I thought it was kind of cute. Julie did not.
For the next hour Julie shared with me her worries about Tamara being shy.
Tamara was never an outgoing child. However, she started to become extremely shy when she turned two. Tamara would hide when people came over. She stopped displaying the curiosity she had when visitors came over.
Julie had to discontinue Tamara's play group. Tamara refused to play with the other children. Tamara would hide behind Julie and even clutch on to Julie. It was too painful for Julie to see Tamara in fear.
Taking Tamara to the supermarket also became difficult. Tamara is a very cute kid. When strangers would approach Tamara she would blush, bow her head and grab Julie.
Julie was worried. She did not know what to do. She did her best to encourage Tamara but that did not work. Tamara was shy.
I do not know what the future holds for Tamara. You probably identify with this.
Shyness does start at a young age. Your family and loved ones may or may not have been helpful and supportive. Despite all that here you are and adult experiencing the agony of shyness.
Perhaps you have made some progress with your shyness. Maybe you have learned how to live with it. Are you settling for half a life by adapting?
You are not a child anymore. You may feel like one when your shyness hits you. But you have an adult mind to deal with those feelings. Are you using your adult mind in dealing with your shyness or are you just like little Tamara?
Don't let your shyness run you. Be an adult and use your adult mind to overcome your shyness.
Marcia, Your Confidence Coach
548 comments:
1 – 200 of 548 Newer› Newest»We shy people usually feel critical and guilty of our shyness. Force does not drive us in a positive manner. How do people like me build self esteem without this putting ourselves down.
PS: I am painfully aware of my shyness problem as an ADULT.
This is true, shyness develops later, not when you are a kid. I guess it is partly a predisposition since you are born, that later becomes stronger in some subjects.
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It is true that shyness starts at a yound age.
Hiding behind my mum when I was a young child, everytime somebody I didn't know tried to speak to me.
Shyness has stuck with me my entire life, and though it improves I don't think it ever completely goes away.
There's a lot of spam on this blog, but some good posts.
Researcher Jerome Kagan found that shyness can begin at infancy, proving that shyness is inborn in some people.
Improving your conversational skills is one of the best ways to overcome shyness, imo.
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I was the opposite of Tamara. I didn't seem to start off shy but I started becoming so at about the age of 9 or 10. I "grew into" shyness, maybe Tamara will grow out of it.
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